DDLG Contract Template: Caregiver/Little Rules + Sample

This guide draws on consent frameworks from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, abuse-prevention work from Network La Red and RAINN, and legal commentary from attorney Sergei Tokmakov, Esq. (California Bar #279869), via terms.law. It is educational, not legal or mental-health advice.

What a DDLG Contract Actually Is (and Isn't)

A DDLG contract is a written record of what two consenting adults negotiated about a caregiver/little dynamic — the roles and honorifics, the rules and routines, the rewards, the correction, the little-space triggers, the aftercare, and the conditions under which either of them can stop. DDLG stands for Daddy Dom / Little Girl, one branch of the broader CG/L (caregiver/little) family. Some couples sign it formally. That does not make it legally stronger.

Before anything else: DDLG is consensual adult age-play role-play, and it has nothing to do with minors. The "little" is an adult inhabiting a softer, more cared-for headspace called little space — not a child, and not pretending to be one in any literal sense. Every credible practitioner community and consent organisation defines this dynamic strictly between consenting adults. A DDLG contract documents an adults-only relationship; that framing is non-negotiable and should be stated in the document itself.

California attorney Sergei Tokmakov, Esq. — who covers kink-related contract questions in his practice — puts it directly: a relationship agreement of this kind "should be thought of as a written record of negotiations, not a binding contract." A written agreement does not override criminal or civil law. The document's only real job is to turn vague assumptions into sentences both adults can point to later.

A DDLG contract is not legally binding. It is care infrastructure — a way to make nurture explicit, repeatable, and safe, which for the relationship is the part that actually matters.

Who Writes a DDLG Contract — and Who Probably Shouldn't

A DDLG contract is the right tool when:

• You and your partner are both adults in a caregiver/little dynamic and want the routines and rules written down rather than improvised
• The caregiver wants their own commitments documented — care is a two-way responsibility, not a one-sided expectation
• The little wants a clear record of the rules, rewards, and aftercare they can re-read when the dynamic drifts
• You're writing a refresher after months or years, because the original verbal terms stopped describing the relationship

A DDLG contract is the wrong tool when:

• Your "little" partner is not a consenting adult — this dynamic is adults-only, full stop, and nothing on this site applies otherwise
• You haven't done a single scene yet — paperwork is not where to start; a conversation about safe words and headspace is
• The rules you want to write push past real-life adult responsibilities — work, sleep, medication, friendships, finances — which is a red flag about the dynamic, not a sign of a deeper one

How a DDLG Contract Differs from a Basic D/s or BDSM Contract

The difference is simple: a D/s contract is role-first, a BDSM contract is practice-first, and a DDLG/CGL contract is caregiving-first. It centers nurture, routine, and headspace rather than power roles or a list of negotiated practices.

If your relationship is mostly about who's in charge when, the basic D/s contract is the cleaner starting point. If it's mostly about negotiated scenes and implements, the BDSM contract fits better. If the heart of the dynamic is caregiving — routines, nurture, little-space, and aftercare — the DDLG contract template below is the right shape.

What Should Be Included in a DDLG Contract?

Nine clauses cover the repeat failure points: roles, rules and routines, rewards, correction, little-space triggers, aftercare, the allowed/limit list, check-ins, and termination. The summary table is the framework; the sections below are the detail.

Clause 1 — Roles & Honorifics

Both adults are named explicitly, along with the roles they take during agreed dynamic time and the honorifics they use — Caregiver, Daddy, Mommy, CG on one side; little, babygirl, or a chosen name on the other. The roles describe behaviour during the dynamic, not the underlying identity of either person.

Example. During agreed dynamic time, [Name] takes the Caregiver role and is addressed as "Daddy"; [Name] takes the little role and is addressed as "babygirl." Both are adults. Out of role, both are equal partners and use ordinary names. Honorifics are never used in front of family, at work, or in any non-private setting.

Clause 2 — Rules & Routines

This is where a DDLG contract earns its keep: bedtime, meals, hydration, screen-time, and self-care framed as caregiving structure rather than control for its own sake. The test for every rule is whether it supports the little's adult life. A rule that conflicts with work, sleep, medication, or other responsibilities does not belong in the contract.

Example. Agreed routines: bedtime by 11pm on weeknights; a real meal and water before 1pm; thirty minutes of screen-free wind-down before sleep. Rules support [little]'s adult responsibilities and never override work, health, medication, or any safety need.

Clause 3 — Rewards

Rewards are the half of the dynamic couples forget. Caregiving structure works because following it feels good, not only because breaking it has consequences. The contract should name concrete, pre-agreed rewards for honouring routines and rules.

Example. Rewards for a steady week of routines: a chosen comfort activity together (movie night, a new colouring book, a long cuddle session), and verbal praise the little has said lands well. Rewards are nurturing, never withheld as a manipulation tactic.

Clause 4 — Correction, Framed as Nurturing

Correction in a healthy caregiver/little dynamic is gentle, pre-negotiated structure — not punitive cruelty. It reinforces agreed routines through consequences both partners chose in advance, never humiliation that targets real insecurities, and never discipline applied in anger. The contract names which corrections are on the table and which are hard limits.

Example. Agreed corrections: a calm talking-to; an early bedtime; temporary loss of a small privilege, restored quickly. Hard limits on correction: nothing applied in anger; no degradation about appearance, weight, or genuine insecurities; no withholding of aftercare, food, or medication as discipline.

Clause 5 — Little-Space & Headspace Triggers

The contract should describe how the little enters and exits little space safely: what helps the state arrive, what environment is needed, and how to come out of it. Little-space leaves a person more vulnerable, so it should only be entered when both partners feel safe, and there should be a clear, gentle exit plan.

Example. Little-space is entered only at home or another safe space, with [Caregiver] present or reachable. Helpful triggers: comfort items, soft textures, calm voice. Exit plan: a chosen "back to big" phrase, a snack, and quiet time. If either partner is in crisis or intoxicated, little time is paused by default.

Clause 6 — Aftercare

Aftercare belongs to both partners. A little may need comfort and reassurance after coming out of little-space — a "little drop" similar to sub-drop — and caregivers experience their own fatigue and emotional spillover. The contract describes what each adult needs immediately after and within twenty-four hours.

Example. Immediately after little time: shared blanket, water, twenty minutes of quiet physical proximity, reassurance the little has named. Within twenty-four hours: a check-in conversation, both directions, about what felt good and what didn't. Caregiver aftercare: solo decompression time and food within the hour.

Clause 7 — Allowed / Limit List

A plain list of what is currently in-bounds and what is a hard limit — across activities, language, and whether and how sex is involved. DDLG can be sexual or entirely nonsexual; the contract should make the couple's choice explicit rather than assumed. Adding anything new is a renegotiation, not a unilateral decision.

Example. In-bounds: caregiving routines, colouring and play, pre-agreed pet names, cuddling. This dynamic is [sexual / nonsexual]; if sexual, it is kept separate from active little-space unless explicitly negotiated. Hard limits: [list]. Anything not on the in-bounds list is a renegotiation.

Clause 8 — Check-Ins

The contract should say when the partners talk about how the dynamic is going, and through what channel — out of role, as two equal adults. "We'll talk about it" tends to mean "we'll talk when something explodes." A defined cadence keeps the contract alive instead of decorative.

Example. Structured check-in: every Sunday evening, out of role, in person. Topics: what worked this week, what didn't, anything either partner wants to add to or remove from the rules, routines, rewards, or limits.

Clause 9 — Termination

Either partner can pause the dynamic at any time by saying so, and either can terminate the contract in writing at any time, with no obligation to justify the decision. The roles end; the relationship between two equal adults remains. The contract also sets when it will be reviewed.

Example. Either party may pause at any time by saying "I'm pausing"; all dynamic activity suspends until both agree to resume. Either party may terminate this agreement in writing at any time, no justification required. This agreement is reviewed monthly for the first three months, then quarterly.

How to Customize the Template for Your Dynamic

Three steps, in order:

1. State the adults-only framing first. The opening line of your contract should confirm both partners are consenting adults and that the dynamic is role-play between them. This is not boilerplate; it is the foundation everything else sits on.

2. Test every rule against real life. For each routine or rule, ask: does this support the little's adult responsibilities, or compete with them? Keep the ones that support; cut the ones that compete. Rules and correction never override safety, health, or out-of-role obligations.

3. Define auto-withdraw triggers. List the situations in which consent and little time are automatically paused — alcohol or substances, active mental-health crisis, recent injury, an unresolved fight from outside the dynamic. These don't require a safe word; the dynamic pauses by default until both partners agree otherwise.

Common Mistakes When Writing Your First DDLG Contract

Related Reading

• DDLG meaning — what the caregiver/little dynamic is, and what it isn't
• Little space — the headspace at the center of the dynamic
• Safe words guide — the conversation that has to happen before any contract
• Basic D/s contract template — for power-role-centric dynamics
• All contract templates — browse the full set

Sources & Further Reading

Research

1. Sagarin, B. J., Cutler, B., Cutler, N., Lawler-Sagarin, K. A., & Matuszewich, L. (2009). Hormonal changes and couple bonding in consensual sadomasochistic activity. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 38(2), 186-200.
2. Wismeijer, A. A., & van Assen, M. A. (2013). Psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 10(8), 1943-1952.
3. Holvoet, L., Huys, W., Coppens, V., Seeuws, J., Goethals, K., & Morrens, M. (2017). Fifty shades of Belgian gray: The prevalence of BDSM-related fantasies and activities in the general population. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 14(9), 1152-1159.

Books

• Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2003). The New Bottoming Book. Greenery Press.
• Harrington, L. (2012). Playing Well With Others. Mystic Productions Press.

Legal & Community Resources

• National Coalition for Sexual Freedom — Consent Counts
• Network La Red — partner abuse prevention for LGBTQ+ kink communities
• RAINN — sexual assault support (1-800-656-HOPE)
• Tokmakov, S. (2024). BDSM relationship contracts and NDAs. terms.law.

Author Note

The clause people skip first in a DDLG contract is rewards — they write the routines, write the corrections, and forget that caregiving structure only works when following it feels good. The clause they should never skip is the one that says rules never override real life. Care that competes with someone's adult responsibilities isn't care. Everything else in this template is an attempt to keep nurture and structure on the same side.

— Ren Vale