List of kinks and fetishes, explained.

Safety Agree on scope before you start: what's controlled, for how long, and the safeword.

Safety Review rules regularly. Consent is ongoing, not a one-time signature.

Safety Frustration is the point — resentment isn't. Check in after, especially the first times.

Safety Proper sizing prevents injury. Always keep an emergency key accessible.

Safety Build up slowly with trial periods. Keep finances, health and exit options always in your own hands.

Safety Agree the menu of consequences in advance; never invent punishments mid-scene in anger.

Ask each other: How would you like to signal that you want a pause or want to stop?

Safety Do not push through discomfort or treat a request to stop as part of the game; stop when either partner asks.

Ask each other: What kind of task would feel enjoyable, and how would you like to check in afterward?

Safety Do not assign tasks that interfere with obligations or privacy; stop if a task feels burdensome or unwelcome.

Ask each other: Which directions would you enjoy practicing, and how should feedback feel?

Safety Do not demand obedience outside agreed boundaries; stop if pressure replaces willing participation.

Ask each other: What kinds of playful resistance and responses sound fun to both of you?

Safety Do not mistake genuine refusal for playful resistance; stop when either partner drops the game or asks to stop.

Ask each other: Which settings or occasions would you be comfortable letting me choose your clothes for?

Safety Do not override comfort, workplace needs, or privacy; stop if the clothing choice causes distress or unwanted exposure.

Ask each other: What kinds of care and guidance would you welcome, and which would feel intrusive?

Safety Do not use caregiving to override independence or consent; stop if care starts to feel controlling or unwanted.

Ask each other: What financial boundaries would protect your essential expenses and ability to leave the dynamic?

Safety Financial domination cannot be made fully safe. Do not give up access to essential funds or take on debt; stop if spending causes harm or pressure.

Ask each other: Would humiliation be part of this for you, and what words or situations would feel off-limits?

Safety Do not involve anyone without their informed agreement or use real insecurities as material; stop if jealousy or distress becomes unwelcome.

Ask each other: What would you want to know about outside connections, and what would you prefer to keep private?

Safety Do not involve anyone without their informed agreement or pressure a partner to pursue others; stop if boundaries or trust change.

Ask each other: Would a change in power roles appeal to you, or would you prefer to keep the focus on sensation?

Safety Do not continue through pain or pressure a partner to accept penetration; stop immediately if there is pain or bleeding.

Ask each other: How will you communicate a need for space if speaking becomes difficult?

Safety Do not restrict breathing or ignore a nonverbal stop signal; stop immediately if breathing or communication becomes difficult.

Safety Keep safety shears nearby. Never leave a restrained partner alone, and check circulation every few minutes.

Safety Learn nerve-safe placement before suspension of any kind. Single-column tie first; shears always within reach.

Safety Agree on a verbal safeword first — your partner can't read your eyes.

Safety Replace the verbal safeword with a drop-object or hand signal. Watch breathing at all times.

Safety Pad the cuffs and avoid locking joints in strained positions for long periods.

Safety Never cover the face. Keep shears in hand, monitor temperature, and plan a fast exit.

Ask each other: Which kinds of discomfort are acceptable, and how will you signal that you want the choice to end?

Safety Do not force painful positions or prevent quick release; stop at pain, numbness, dizziness, or a request to stop.

Ask each other: Where are you comfortable being held, and how will you signal that you want to be released?

Safety Do not put pressure on the neck or restrict breathing; stop if either person feels pain, panic, or cannot communicate.

Ask each other: What kind of enclosed space feels acceptable, and how will you ask to come out?

Safety Do not use a space that blocks airflow or prevents immediate exit; stop if the person feels trapped, overheated, or distressed.

Ask each other: How much difficulty would make the escape enjoyable, and when should your partner release you?

Safety Do not use restraints that cannot be released immediately; stop if escape efforts cause pain, numbness, panic, or breathing trouble.

Safety Test temperature on your own wrist first; never use ice straight from the freezer on one spot.

Safety Only use candles made for body play — regular candles burn hotter. Height controls heat.

Safety Laughter can mask distress; agree a clear safeword or signal first.

Safety A perfect low-stakes starting point. Just communicate about ticklish spots.

Safety Keep wear short, remove slowly, and expect the rush of blood returning.

Safety Never across the chest or above the neck. Use body-safe devices only — no DIY.

Ask each other: How will you signal a stop if you cannot see or hear your partner clearly?

Safety Do not block the agreed stop signal; stop if either person feels panicked, disoriented, or unable to communicate.

Ask each other: Where would you welcome the wheel's sharp sensation, and where should it stay away?

Safety Do not use it on broken skin; stop if skin breaks or the sensation becomes unwelcome.

Ask each other: Are light scratches welcome, and are visible marks acceptable?

Safety Do not scratch broken skin; stop if skin breaks or the sensation becomes unwelcome.

Ask each other: Are visible bite marks acceptable, and where would you be comfortable with them?

Safety Do not break the skin; stop if a bite hurts more than agreed or causes bleeding.

Ask each other: Is hair tugging welcome, and should it ever be used to guide your movement?

Safety Do not yank or use hair to force movement; stop if there is scalp pain, dizziness, or distress.

Ask each other: Would you want stimulation to continue after orgasm, and how would you signal that you want it to end?

Safety Do not treat the scene's forced framing as permission to ignore a stop signal; stop for pain, numbness, or distress.

Ask each other: When may your partner activate the toy, especially if you are apart or around other people?

Safety Do not activate it outside the agreed setting; stop if contact is lost or the sensation becomes uncomfortable.

Ask each other: Which areas would you like massaged, and are there oils or scents you want to avoid?

Safety Do not use products that irritate the skin; stop if itching, redness, or discomfort develops.

Ask each other: Where would you consider a clamp, and are marks or lingering soreness acceptable?

Safety Do not clamp injured or numb skin; stop if there is severe pain, numbness, or a color change.

Ask each other: Are you interested in touch, a plug, or both, and what would make you want to stop?

Safety Do not use objects that could become stuck or push through pain; stop for pain, bleeding, or distress.

Ask each other: What experience and preparation would you both want before considering this, and what signs would end the attempt?

Safety It cannot be made fully safe. Do not push through resistance; stop immediately for pain, bleeding, or distress.

Safety Stay on the fleshy lower buttocks; avoid the tailbone and kidneys.

Safety Warm up first and build intensity gradually. Test every implement on your own forearm.

Safety Stick to the upper back and butt. Never wrap strands around the ribs or neck.

Safety High injury potential: learn placement, avoid joints and bone, and count strokes together.

Ask each other: How would a face slap feel to you emotionally, and are any areas off-limits?

Safety Do not strike the ears or eyes; stop immediately for dizziness, confusion, ringing ears, or distress.

Ask each other: Would you prefer a belt or a strap, and are visible marks acceptable?

Safety Do not use buckles or damaged belts; stop for broken skin, numbness, or unexpected pain.

Ask each other: Are you comfortable with the possibility of skin injury from a single-tail whip?

Safety Single-tail whipping cannot be made fully safe; do not strike near the face or neck, and stop for broken skin or unexpected pain.

Ask each other: Are any genital strikes acceptable to you, and are there areas you want kept off-limits?

Safety Genital impact cannot be made fully safe; do not assume mild force is harmless, and stop for sharp pain, swelling, numbness, or any unexpected change.

Ask each other: Do we both want to struggle actively, and are pushing or pinning off-limits?

Safety Do not obstruct breathing or ignore a stop signal; stop after a fall or for joint pain or dizziness.

Safety Agree which words are hot and which are off-limits. Words leave marks too.

Safety Pure positive reinforcement; just keep it genuine.

Safety Pre-negotiate exact words and themes. Aftercare with reaffirmation is essential.

Safety Know your partner's trauma map before you play with fear. Aftercare is mandatory.

Ask each other: What situations would feel playfully embarrassing to you, and which would feel hurtful?

Safety Do not involve an unaware audience or expose private details; stop if embarrassment turns into distress.

Ask each other: What kind of object role appeals to you, and what treatment would feel unwelcome?

Safety Do not put weight on someone or ignore their ability to speak up; stop if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Ask each other: What suggestions would you welcome, and how should we check in while you feel absorbed?

Safety Do not suggest actions outside prior agreements or assume someone cannot refuse; stop if they feel confused or distressed.

Ask each other: Which kinds of surprises sound appealing, and what truths must stay clear throughout?

Safety Do not lie about safety, consent, or the relationship; stop if uncertainty becomes real fear or mistrust.

Ask each other: What would you enjoy asking for, and are there words you would rather avoid?

Safety Do not make basic needs or agreed care depend on begging; stop if the request feels pressured.

Ask each other: Which titles feel right to you, and when would you want us to use them?

Safety Do not use a title in public without agreement; stop if it feels uncomfortable or exposes your dynamic.

Ask each other: What kind of jealousy scenario interests you, and what would make it feel too real?

Safety Do not imply a real betrayal or involve an unaware person; stop if jealousy lingers or trust feels shaken.

Ask each other: What words or marks would you welcome, and where would you be comfortable displaying them?

Safety Do not use unknown inks or mark irritated skin; stop if the skin reacts or the message feels unwelcome.

Safety Collars off the neck during rough movement; discuss what breaks the headspace gently.

Safety Low risk. Have fun with it.

Safety The most negotiation-heavy play there is. Safewords, scripts and trust built over time are non-negotiable.

Safety Adults only, always. Define the dynamic's boundaries and aftercare needs clearly.

Ask each other: Would you enjoy a chase, and where would you want it to end?

Safety Do not chase into unsafe spaces or ignore a stop signal. Stop if anyone feels frightened or loses control.

Ask each other: Would you prefer a strict teacher, a playful lesson, or no grading language?

Safety Do not bring real school relationships into the scene. Stop if the authority dynamic feels uncomfortable.

Ask each other: Which workplace scenario sounds appealing, and should the boss avoid threats about employment?

Safety Do not use real job pressure or consequences. Stop if the scene starts to feel like an actual workplace demand.

Ask each other: Where would you like the pretend meeting to happen, and how will we recognize each other?

Safety Do not involve bystanders in the scene. Stop if either partner feels unsure about continuing.

Ask each other: Would you want the capture to stay verbal, or include any agreed physical restraint?

Safety Do not block a real exit or ignore a stop signal. Stop if anyone feels trapped or distressed.

Ask each other: Which parts of an examination scene appeal to you, and which should stay off limits?

Safety Do not use real medical procedures or claim medical authority. Stop if anyone feels pain or distress.

Ask each other: What kinds of questions would feel engaging, and which topics should the interrogator avoid?

Safety Do not press for real secrets or ignore a stop signal. Stop if questioning becomes upsetting.

Ask each other: Which clothing, words, or presentation choices would you welcome in this scene?

Safety Do not assume feminine presentation is humiliating or use unwanted identity labels. Stop if the direction feels hurtful.

Ask each other: Would you enjoy a costume, training cues, or simply acting like a pony?

Safety Do not use gear that restricts safe movement or communication. Stop if anyone feels pain or cannot signal clearly.

Ask each other: Would you prefer a costume, scripted service, or actual household tasks in the scene?

Safety Do not turn fictional duties into ongoing obligations without agreement. Stop if requests feel unwelcome.

Ask each other: Would a secret meeting feel fun, and are there real relationship details we should avoid?

Safety Do not involve an unsuspecting person or use real accusations. Stop if the story brings up painful feelings.

Ask each other: Which creature appeals to you, and should the scene feel playful, eerie, or dramatic?

Safety Do not let costume pieces obstruct breathing or communication. Stop if anyone feels frightened or uncomfortable.

Ask each other: Which character would you like to portray, and how closely should we follow their story?

Safety Do not use costume pieces that restrict movement or communication. Stop if the character dynamic feels uncomfortable.

Ask each other: Would you enjoy formal titles, court etiquette, or giving and receiving royal commands?

Safety Do not treat fictional rank as authority outside the scene. Stop if a command feels unwelcome.

Safety Make sure service stays a gift, not an unpaid job. Review the balance often.

Safety Cushion the knees; respect physical limits — discomfort isn't devotion.

Safety Talk about what it means to each of you first; the symbol carries real weight.

Safety Not optional for intense play. Plan it like you plan the scene itself.

Ask each other: Which chores would be your responsibility, and how would we handle days when you cannot do them?

Safety Do not let chores interfere with essential needs; stop if the arrangement becomes burdensome or either person withdraws consent.

Ask each other: Which grooming or bathing tasks would you welcome, and which would you prefer to do yourself?

Safety Do not use irritating products or continue unwanted touch; stop if either person feels discomfort or asks to pause.

Ask each other: Where would you feel comfortable being led, and how would you signal that you want to stop?

Safety Do not pull against the neck or lead someone near hazards; stop if there is pain, breathing difficulty, or loss of balance.

Safety Low risk, high reward. A classic first step.

Ask each other: Would you enjoy having your feet admired or touched, and is either one uncomfortable?

Safety Do not touch feet without agreement; stop if touch causes pain or discomfort.

Ask each other: Is the appeal wearing boots, seeing them on a partner, or having them included in play?

Safety Do not use boots for pressure or impact without a separate agreement; stop if they cause pain or injury.

Ask each other: Which leather items appeal to you, and would you prefer to wear them or see them worn?

Safety Do not ignore material sensitivities; stop if leather causes irritation or discomfort.

Ask each other: Would you want to wear latex or rubber, see a partner wear it, or both?

Safety Do not use latex if an allergy is known; stop immediately if itching, swelling, or breathing trouble occurs.

Ask each other: Which appeals to you more: wearing stockings and heels, seeing them worn, or choosing them together?

Safety Do not push through foot pain or an unsteady feeling; stop if walking or standing becomes uncomfortable.

Ask each other: Which kinds of attention would feel welcome, and are there areas you would prefer left out?

Safety Do not touch or comment on areas your partner has ruled out; stop if the attention feels uncomfortable.

Ask each other: Is this about a visual preference, a size difference between us, or a role you want to explore?

Safety Do not pressure anyone to change their body or accept unwanted comments; stop if the discussion feels shaming.

Ask each other: Is this a fantasy only, and what contraception and STI precautions would we agree on?

Safety Do not skip agreed contraception or STI precautions; stop if protection fails or either person's pregnancy intentions change.

Ask each other: Where, if anywhere, would spit feel welcome, and what meaning would it have for you?

Safety Do not spit without agreement or near someone's eyes; stop if either person feels uncomfortable or unwell.

Ask each other: Which clothes would you like to try, and who would you feel comfortable seeing you wear them?

Safety Do not share photos or details without permission; stop if the clothing or attention feels uncomfortable.

Ask each other: What kind of mask or persona appeals to you, and how would you want to communicate while wearing it?

Safety Do not use a mask that restricts breathing or communication; stop if breathing, vision, or awareness becomes difficult.

Ask each other: Are you interested in the look, the snug feeling, or both, and how should you signal discomfort?

Safety Do not keep wearing a corset that makes breathing difficult; stop if you feel pain, dizziness, or numbness.

Ask each other: Which glove materials appeal to you, and would you prefer wearing them or being touched by them?

Safety Do not use gloves made from a material either person reacts to; stop if touch causes irritation or discomfort.

Safety Low risk. Position the mirror, set the lighting, enjoy.

Safety Agree on storage, faces in frame, and deletion rules before pressing record.

Safety Bystanders haven't consented: keep it truly invisible and legal.

Ask each other: Who would you feel comfortable having watch, and what would they be allowed to see?

Safety Do not involve bystanders or allow recording without permission; stop if anyone involved withdraws consent.

Ask each other: Would you rather watch openly, or have your partner knowingly perform as if unaware?

Safety Do not watch secretly or record without permission; stop if the person being watched withdraws consent.

Ask each other: Are nude images welcome, and may either of us save what the other sends?

Safety Do not forward or save messages or images without permission; stop if either person feels pressured or asks to end the exchange.

Ask each other: What are you comfortable showing on camera, and is recording off limits?

Safety Do not record, take screenshots, or include others without permission; stop if privacy is compromised or either person withdraws consent.

Ask each other: Would you prefer spoken fantasies, instructions, or simply hearing each other's reactions?

Safety Do not record or put the call on speaker without permission; stop if privacy is compromised or either person wants to end it.

Ask each other: Would you want the viewer to stay seated, respond verbally, or join in?

Safety Do not assume the performance invites touch or recording; stop if the performer or viewer becomes uncomfortable or withdraws consent.

Safety No method is fully safe. If you explore it anyway: never alone, never to unconsciousness, learn from experts.

Safety Use dull "show" blades; sterilise anything that touches skin; avoid the neck entirely.

Ask each other: Is neck pressure something you want to consider, and how would you signal an immediate stop?

Safety Neck pressure cannot be made fully safe. Do not ignore a stop signal; stop immediately for dizziness, confusion, or distress.

Ask each other: Would you want flame to touch you, or would you only consider having it nearby?

Safety Fire play cannot be made fully safe. Do not bring flame near flammable materials; stop immediately for a burn, distress, or loss of control.

Ask each other: Are you comfortable with skin puncture, and what would make you want to stop?

Safety Skin puncture cannot be made fully safe. Do not share needles; stop immediately for unusual bleeding, faintness, or distress.

Ask each other: Would seeing blood be part of what you want, and what contact with it is off-limits?

Safety Blood play cannot be made fully safe. Do not share items that contact blood; stop immediately for uncontrolled bleeding or distress.

Ask each other: Are you comfortable being fully off the ground, and how would you communicate discomfort?

Safety Suspension cannot be made fully safe. Do not leave anyone suspended unattended; stop immediately for numbness, weakness, or distress.