The kink checklist. Want, maybe, or pass — forty ideas, one list.
A yes / no / maybe list for kink and BDSM, with a safety note on every item. Fill it in on your own, copy it as text, or save it as a private map and compare with a partner — who only ever sees what you both said yes to.
Bondage & restraint
Cuffs & restraints
Using cuffs or soft restraints to limit movement during play.
Safety: Keep safety shears nearby. Never leave a restrained partner alone, and check circulation every few minutes.
Rope bondage / Shibari
Tying with rope — from simple wrists to artistic Japanese-inspired patterns.
Safety: Learn nerve-safe placement before suspension of any kind. Single-column tie first; shears always within reach.
Blindfolds
Removing sight to heighten every other sense.
Safety: Agree on a verbal safeword first — your partner can't read your eyes.
Gags
Restricting speech with a gag during a scene.
Safety: Replace the verbal safeword with a drop-object or hand signal. Watch breathing at all times.
Spreader bars
A rigid bar keeping ankles or wrists apart.
Safety: Pad the cuffs and avoid locking joints in strained positions for long periods.
Mummification
Full-body wrap in cling film or fabric for deep immobilisation.
Safety: Never cover the face. Keep shears in hand, monitor temperature, and plan a fast exit.
Power exchange
Light D/s play
Taking or giving control just for a scene — orders, obedience, bratting.
Safety: Agree on scope before you start: what's controlled, for how long, and the safeword.
Rules & protocols
Standing rules outside the bedroom — titles, rituals, daily check-ins.
Safety: Review rules regularly. Consent is ongoing, not a one-time signature.
Orgasm control & denial
One partner decides when (or whether) the other gets to finish.
Safety: Frustration is the point — resentment isn't. Check in after, especially the first times.
Chastity play
Wearing a chastity device with a partner holding the key.
Safety: Proper sizing prevents injury. Always keep an emergency key accessible.
24/7 dynamics (TPE)
A power-exchange relationship that extends beyond scenes into daily life.
Safety: Build up slowly with trial periods. Keep finances, health and exit options always in your own hands.
Funishment & discipline
Consequences for broken rules — playful or strict, as negotiated.
Safety: Agree the menu of consequences in advance; never invent punishments mid-scene in anger.
Impact
Spanking
Hand spanking — the classic gateway to impact play.
Safety: Stay on the fleshy lower buttocks; avoid the tailbone and kidneys.
Paddles & crops
Implements that concentrate sting or thud exactly where you want it.
Safety: Warm up first, start at 30% and build. Test every implement on your own forearm.
Flogging
Multi-tail floggers, from heavy massage-like thud to sharp sting.
Safety: Stick to the upper back and butt. Never wrap strands around the ribs or neck.
Caning
Thin canes deliver intense, precise sensation — advanced impact play.
Safety: High injury potential: learn placement, avoid joints and bone, and count strokes together.
Sensation
Temperature play
Ice cubes, warm oil, or chilled toys against bare skin.
Safety: Test temperature on your own wrist first; never use ice straight from the freezer on one spot.
Wax play
Dripping low-temperature candle wax for a warm, sharp bloom.
Safety: Only use candles made for body play — regular candles burn hotter. Height controls heat.
Tickling
Tickle torment as play — laughter is not always a yes.
Safety: Laughter can mask distress; agree a clear safeword or signal first.
Feather-light touch
Feathers, fingertips and breath — teasing the skin awake.
Safety: A perfect low-stakes starting point. Just communicate about ticklish spots.
Nipple clamps
Clamps that bite — the real intensity arrives when they come off.
Safety: Limit wear to 10–15 minutes; remove slowly and expect the rush of blood returning.
Electro play
TENS units and violet wands for buzzing, crackling sensation.
Safety: Never across the chest or above the neck. Use body-safe devices only — no DIY.
Role play
Dirty talk
Using words to set the scene, command, praise or degrade — as agreed.
Safety: Agree which words are hot and which are off-limits. Words leave marks too.
Praise kink
Melting when you're told you're good — affirmation as erotic fuel.
Safety: Pure positive reinforcement; just keep it genuine.
Degradation
Consensually enjoying insults or humiliation inside a scene.
Safety: Pre-negotiate exact words and themes. Aftercare with reaffirmation is essential.
Pet play
Taking on a pet persona — kitten, puppy — with collars and headspace.
Safety: Collars off the neck during rough movement; discuss what breaks the headspace gently.
Uniforms & costumes
Authority, fantasy or nostalgia — clothes that flip a switch.
Safety: Low risk. Have fun with it.
Consensual non-consent
Scripted "resistance" scenes negotiated in detail beforehand.
Safety: The most negotiation-heavy play there is. Safewords, scripts and trust built over time are non-negotiable.
Age play (adults)
Adults roleplaying different ages — caregiver dynamics, littles space.
Safety: Adults only, always. Define the dynamic's boundaries and aftercare needs clearly.
Exhibition
Lingerie & dressing up
Being seen — or seeing your partner — in something chosen to be seen.
Safety: Low risk, high reward. A classic first step.
Mirror play
Watching yourselves during sex — exhibitionism for two.
Safety: Low risk. Position the mirror, set the lighting, enjoy.
Private photos & video
Recording yourselves, for an audience of exactly two.
Safety: Agree on storage, faces in frame, and deletion rules before pressing record.
Discreet public teasing
A secret between you two in plain sight — remote toys, whispered orders.
Safety: Bystanders haven't consented: keep it truly invisible and legal.
Service
Acts of service
Serving a partner — making coffee, drawing baths — as devotion.
Safety: Make sure service stays a gift, not an unpaid job. Review the balance often.
Kneeling & positions
Trained positions and postures as ritual and headspace anchors.
Safety: Cushion the knees; respect physical limits — discomfort isn't devotion.
Collars & ownership symbols
A collar, bracelet or ring marking a dynamic — deeply personal for many.
Safety: Talk about what it means to each of you first; the symbol carries real weight.
Aftercare rituals
Water, blankets, debriefs and cuddles — closing a scene with care.
Safety: Not optional for intense play. Plan it like you plan the scene itself.
Edge play
Breath play
Restricting breath — one of the highest-risk practices there is.
Safety: No method is fully safe. If you explore it anyway: never alone, never to unconsciousness, learn from experts.
Knife play
The cold edge of a blade for fear and sensation — usually without cutting.
Safety: Use dull "show" blades; sterilise anything that touches skin; avoid the neck entirely.
Fear play
Controlled fright — anticipation, darkness, the unknown.
Safety: Know your partner's trauma map before you play with fear. Aftercare is mandatory.
Your list appears here
Mark items above. Your answers stay in this browser until you choose to copy or save them.
What a kink checklist is for
A checklist turns a vague conversation — “what are you into?” — into forty small, specific questions that each have an easy answer. That matters because most people can say “maybe” to a concrete idea long before they can describe their taste in the abstract. The list is a way to find out what you would actually say yes to, one item at a time.
It is also the standard tool for negotiating with someone else. Two people fill in the same list separately, then compare. The overlap is where a first scene can start; the gaps are where the conversation needs to happen; the passes are simply off the table. Filled in honestly, a BDSM checklist does more for a first conversation than any amount of guessing.
How this list is different
- A safety note on every item. Most kink lists are just names. Each item here carries the one thing to know before trying it — shears within reach, check circulation, replace the verbal safeword when the mouth is busy.
- Forty, not four hundred. A list you finish is more useful than a list you abandon. These forty cover the ground a first conversation needs; the deep guides on each practice live in the kinks library.
- Nothing leaves the browser until you say so. No email wall, no PDF download, no login to see your own answers. Copy the text or save the list — both are your choice.
- A private compare, not a shared spreadsheet. If you save the list and pair with a partner, each of you sees only the ideas you both marked want or maybe. One-sided answers are invisible, and hard limits are never shown.
Using the checklist with a partner
- Each of you fills in the list separately, without looking at the other’s screen.
- Copy your lists as text and read them together, or save both to a private map and pair — the compare shows the overlap only.
- Talk about the maybes first. A maybe usually means “yes, under conditions” — the conditions are the conversation.
- Leave the passes alone. A pass is an answer, not an opening for persuasion.
Not sure where your tendencies sit before you go item by item? The free Kink Test gives you the shape first; this list gives you the specifics.
Frequently asked questions
- Is this kink checklist free?
- Yes. The whole list, the want / maybe / pass buttons, and the copy-as-text export are free with no account. Saving the list to an editable profile creates a free account that asks for no real name.
- How many items are on the list?
- Forty, across eight categories: bondage and restraint, power exchange, impact, sensation, role play, exhibition, service, and edge play. Every item has a one-line description and a safety note. It is a curated list, not an exhaustive one — the aim is a list you can actually finish and talk about, not four hundred rows.
- What is the difference between a kink checklist and a kink test?
- A test scores tendencies — how much you lean toward leading or following, gentle or intense — and returns a profile. A checklist is item by item: this specific activity, yes, maybe, or no. Most people find the test useful first (what kind of shape am I?) and the checklist second (which exact things?). The two are separate tools on Cuffplay and you can use either without the other.
- Can my partner see what I marked pass?
- No. If you both save a list and choose to compare, each of you only sees the ideas you both marked want or maybe. One-sided answers, passes, and hard limits are never shown, and no counts are returned that could be read backwards.
- Can I print it or keep a copy?
- Yes. "Copy as text" puts your want and maybe lists, grouped by category, on the clipboard — paste it into a note, a message, or a document. Your answers also stay in this browser, so you can come back and change them.
- Is this a BDSM checklist or a kink checklist?
- Both. The list covers the classic BDSM categories — bondage, power exchange, impact, sensation — alongside role play, exhibition, service, and edge play. If you are looking for a BDSM yes / no / maybe list to fill in before a first scene or a first conversation, this is that list.
Related reading
- Take the Kink TestFive dimensions and an archetype — the shape of your taste before the item-by-item list.
- Kinks libraryA deep guide on each practice: what it is, how it is negotiated, and what to know before a first scene.
- Safe wordsHow to pick one, when a verbal safeword is not enough, and what replaces it.
- Comparing with a partnerHow the private compare works: each of you maps alone, and only mutual yeses are shown.